I recently heard last night of a friend I had graduated with. He just died. I have no details other than he was battling cancer and had just passed away last night. My heart hurts and feels sad. How short this life seems. It was as if I had just graduated yesterday. There he was. Moving, breathing, observing. He was alive. He had left junior year suddenly due to a brain illness. Whether or not he and his family knew it was cancer at that point I haven't a clue. He had lost 30 lbs in one month- and already thin! It wasn't until senior year in high school that he had returned. How he returned! He came back (based upon my point of view- I didn't know him well except that he joined my sophomore english class) transformed from a timid yet wanting-to-break-out-of-his-shell being to a reserved and mature-seeming young man. He had grown up so much from what I had seen. It's no wonder; events like that would change anyone. I went up to him when I saw his return to the hallways, said hello, he gave me a hug, then told him, "I'm so glad you're back Nathan!" He replied with a thank you. Another time, at the homecoming dance, he won one of the titles of homecoming prince and was walking around, seeming distant and a bit lonely. I went up to him, hugged him and told him, "Hey, how's it going? If you want to join us feel free." He smiled and thanked me. We didn't end up dancing together that night but I felt good for inviting him. It's moments like those that I feel impulsive. Sometimes I have this great need to go up and love someone. No, not in the romantic sense, but in the I-truly-care-for-you way. The way one treats a beloved friend; a brother; a sister; your 'crew'. Am I glorifying myself for these actions? Absolutely not. In fact I see that loving person as my alter ego, and I wish I would become that person all the time- unafraid to go up, smile, say hello, give someone a hug, and genuinely inform them that I care for them, letting them know that they are not alone in this world. Too often do I shy away from genuinely loving people, from speaking kindly to family. "Oh they'll be there tomorrow." What a shame! Will they? I'm convinced that at the end of my life, God won't tell me, "so how much did you do or how strictly did you follow that laws?" No. He's going to tell me, "How much did you love?" And love in the true sense of the word. Selflessness. Doing what's ultimately best for the other. Putting their needs above yours. Being morally right for the sake of the betterment of another person. Nathan, thank you for always being kind to me, sharing your uniquely humorous ways, and even though I didn't know you that well, for being a friend. God bless your soul and family. May you rest in peace. <3 Celeste